Supporting Children after Death and/or Loss
- Be Honest And Concrete: Tips For Talking To Kids About DeathA 24 minute episode of the podcast 'Parenting: Difficult Conversations' by the Sesame Workshop discusses how to breach difficult subjects like death with a child. This resource also discusses the importance of allowing children to see adults grieve.
- Explaining Death to a ChildA resource created by the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia that provides examples of talking points and ways of communicating about death with children.
- After a Loved One Dies— How Children Grieve and How Parents and Other Adults Can Support ThemA resource created by Dr. David J. Schonfeld, MD, and Marcia Quackenbush. Dr. Schonfeld is a developmental-behavioral pediatrician and founded the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement. This particular resource is intended to support parents and caregivers in helping the child/ren in their care through the death of someone close. It offers strategies on discussing death with a child, as well as navigating events like memorials and/or funerals.
- Supporting Grieving Children in Foster CareAn article detailing the many instances of loss that children and youth experience when entering care.
- When a Loved One Dies: How to Help Your ChildA resource developed by KidsHealth that explains that, "children feel and show their grief in different ways. How kids cope with the loss depends on things like their age, how close they felt to the person who died, and the support they receive". This resource provides parents, caregivers, and adults with a child in their care with some steps on how to help a child who has lost a loved one.
- Talking to Children about a SuicideThis resource tackles the difficult subject of discussing suicide with children. The guide is designed to assist parents, guardians, and caregivers of children under 12 with speaking to the child if a suicide has occurred in their family or community.
- 'What If We Lived In Two Houses?' Talking Kids Through DivorceAn episode from the podcast 'Parenting: Difficult Conversations' wherein the hosts talk about how to breach the subject of divorce with children and what details should/should not be included in the conversation.
- Death of a PetA quick read by Kids Health that walks parents and caregivers through the process of telling a child that their pet has died.
- The Grief Process of Children and Youth in CareAn in-depth, text-heavy toolkit that goes through the grieving emotions and stages of children and youth in care.
- Navigating Children's Grief: How to Help Following a DeathA tip sheet developed by the Children's Grief Education Association that outlines the experiences of grief by age from birth-12 years and up.
- Understanding Children's Grief and Finding Teachable MomentsA resource created by the Canadian Virtual Hospice that is organized into three modules: Module 1: Understanding children's grief and finding teachable moments, Module 2: Talking about Dying and Death, Module 3: Supporting a Grieving Child.
- Talking to Children about a ShootingTips developed by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network on how adults can talk to children about a shooting.
- Understanding and Explaining the 5 C'sAfter a significant death in a child's life, they often wonder about the five C's:
1. Did I CAUSE this?
2. Will I CATCH it?
3. Could I have CURED this?
4. Who will take CARE of me?
5. How do I keep a CONNECTION with the person who died? - Parent Toolkit for Grief and LossDeveloped by the Hospice of the Western Reserve, a toolkit for parents or caregivers intended to guide them in supporting their child through the grieving process.
- Creating Space for Children in a Funeral HomeA resource created by the National Alliance for Children's Grief that offers suggestions on how to ensure children are welcomed and taken care of with compassionate care. The guide takes space and resources, time, and even staffing into consideration when offering different options.
Children's Book Recommendations: Fiction
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
"From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process." For ages 4-10. - Summary taken from GoodReads.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
"When Liza and Jeremy run to their mother during a scary storm, she comforts them by telling them about the Invisible String, which connects people who love each other no matter where they are and means that they are never alone." For ages 4-8. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog.
The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr
"Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and wholly accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments" For ages 3-8. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog
A Family is a Family is a Family by Sara O'Leary
"The story starts with a kindergarten teacher asking her students to think about what makes their family special, a nerve-wracking assignment for a young girl in foster care who worries that her family is too different from her classmates. However, she soon learns that all her classmates’ families are different." For ages 4-7. - Summary taken from Creating a Family
We Dream Medicine Dreams by Lisa Boivin
"When a little girl dreams about a bear, her grandfather explains how we connect with the knowledge of our ancestors through dreams. Bear, Hawk, Caribou, and Wolf all have teachings to share to help us live a good life. But when Grampa gets sick and falls into a coma, the little girl must lean on his teachings as she learns to say goodbye." - For ages 5-8. Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog
Lost in the Clouds by Tom Tinn-Disbury
"Billy misses his mommy very much. She lives in the clouds. Some days when he and Daddy play in the garden, he knows that Mommy is letting the sun shine for them. But not all days are like that. Sometimes Mommy’s clouds are dark, and Billy feels sad and alone." For ages 3-5. - Summary taken from GoodReads
The List of Things That Will Not Change by Rebecca Stead
"Despite her parents' divorce, her father's coming out as gay, and his plans to marry his boyfriend, ten-year-old Bea is reassured by her parents' unconditional love, excited about getting a stepsister, and haunted by something she did last summer at her father's lake house.". For readers Gr 5-8. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog
The Funeral by Matt James
"Norma and her parents are going to her great-uncle Frank's funeral, and Norma is more excited than sad. She is looking forward to playing with her favorite cousin, Ray, but when she arrives at the church, she is confronted with rituals and ideas that have never occurred to her before. While not all questions can be answered, when the day is over Norma is certain of one thing: Uncle Frank would have enjoyed his funeral. This sensitive and life-affirming story will lead young readers to ask their own questions about life, death and how we remember those who have gone before us" For ages 4-7. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog
The Yellow Suitcase by Meera Sriram
"Asha's family travels from California to India every summer. It's a tradition for Asha to pack her yellow suitcase with gifts for her grandmother and return with it filled with gifts that her grandmother has been making and collecting for her all year. Only this visit is different. Grandma has passed away, and the family is there for the funeral." For ages 6-10. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library catalog
Stellaluna by Jenell Cannon
"While out searching for food, fruit bat Stellaluna and her mother are attacked by a vicious owl. Stellaluna is separated from Mother Bat and taken in by a family of birds where she must put aside her bat habits to fit in with her new family. But one fateful flight when she is separated from her adoptive siblings, Stellaluna is reunited with her bat family and learns that even though we’re different, we’re very much the same." For ages 4-7. - Summary taken from Creating a Family
Remembering Barkley by Erin Frankel
"When Barkley doesn't come home, Bear misses his friend. He no longer wants to take walks or play fetch. But as the seasons change, Bear and his human Jacob help each other through their grief." For ages 4-8. - Summary taken from GoodReads
Maybe a Whale
"After Grandpa dies, a girl and her mother take the trip he had planned for her, kayaking along the Pacific west coast to look for the whales that he loved. The trip will do them good, Mom says, but the girl isn’t sure. How can that be true when grandpa isn’t there? And how will they find a whale in all that water, anyway? In this lyrical story, luminously illustrated by Crystal Smith, mom and daughter find the space to grieve Grandpa and reconnect with each other in the wild beauty of nature. And they come to realize that — perhaps like whales — those we’ve loved are always with us, even if we don’t see them anymore." For ages 3-6. - Summary taken from Toronto Public Library